


How To Save a Life

by violetchachkii



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 18:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetchachkii/pseuds/violetchachkii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He will do one of two things, he'll admit to everything. Or he'll say he's just not the same, and you begin to wonder why you came." Written July 20th, 2011.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Save a Life

It was cold in the large conference room- James could only notice that at the moment. He was just staring straight forward, the slowly fading voices of the lawyers battling it out in the background. He was looking right at the wall in front of him, chills crawling up his spine that had to be from the temperature of the room. He had agreed to do this so he wouldn't be second guessing it ever.

He finally focuses on something, the one thing he doesn't want to. It's Kendall, sitting across from him at the long, wooden table. His green eyes are just as set, but they don't seem as full of dejectedness as the sandy haired boy across from him. He looks like he's satisfied, like he had just won something. It makes James' stomach curl looking at him beam like that.

The brunette glances over at the lawyers who are talking through the divorce- divorce. It was so easy to think of when they were separated. But now that they are actually going through it the word hurts James' heart. He and Kendall were the ones that were always going to make it. They were the best friends that ended up falling in love and everything was perfect. So why was it them sitting in a conference room, ready to sign the papers.

He wants to get out of there, run away and forget everything. He wants to be that naïve, self-centered, teenager again; ignorant to the truth and living on dreams and hopes. His bank of those is almost empty. He's just working on surviving, moving on like he isn't broken; like he's okay of the fact that life will go one without his best friend, the love of his life, his soul mate. He'll just put up his façade again, the one Kendall took years to break down.

And his eyes are on his husband yet again. He's looking Kendall up and down, biting his lip hard. He has to hold himself back from either crying or lunging at him. He loves him so much and he doesn't know why they're even here. He wants to be back home with him and their family. He wants him to love him again, to show him that he still loves him. That they aren't over; that they can come back from this, from this fight.

He doesn't even remember the fight that tipped it off. They were always like that, they'd fight hard and make-up harder. It wasn't healthy, but it was them. He just didn't know why the make-up didn't happen this time. He faintly remembered the words, that it was better for the kids if they didn't have to live with this, but that doesn't faze him. He loves their children and his husband. They're his family, the most important things to him.

That's when he remembers that Elias and Shannon are here, in the building. They are just waiting to see who they get to go with. Who has custody of them. He looks over at the window and sees them just sitting there. The best things in his life are sitting there looking so sad. It breaks his heart even more.

Shannon is slouched there, twisting her long blond hair around her finger before letting it drop. She's the older one, eight years old and full of life. But, watching her there, her deep brown eyes red from rubbing and tears, makes her look totally different. She looks like James feels, broken and worn down. She knows what's going on; she's old enough to get it. Her daddies are not going to be together anymore and that's that. Her lively spirit had dulled since finding that out.

Elias, only five, walks around the waiting room impatiently. He looks like he just wants to leave. He doesn't know that his father's aren't together again. He's so innocent and young, not knowing that his entire life is going to change in a matter of moments. Those two signatures will affect his outlook on life and love. James doesn't want him to grow up like that, bitter and doubtful. He imagines him in the future, alone and angry. He looks back at his children, his babies, and feels his eyes well up even more then they are.

James. Someone's voice snaps him out of his daze. He looks up and sees his lawyer looking at him, holding a pen out to him. James grabs it in his sweating hand and looks up. The other man clears his throat and sighs. He tells him that he just needs to sign on the line and everything will be finished.

The brunette moves his hand over the papers, an X where he's supposed to sign. But he can't get himself to do it. He doesn't want to sign it. He wants to still be married to his one true love. He looks up at Kendall, whose looking at the wall, probably the clock on it. James looks back at the papers and drops the pen. He gets up, his suit wrinkling as he runs out of the conference room.

The two children in the waiting room look up at him leaving. He's done running and walks purposefully over to them. He kneels and hugs Elias tighter than ever. He gestures for Shannon, sitting on the chair alone, to join in. She does, wrapping her arms around him. He feels warmth and happiness flood through his body for the first time in a while. He just hugs his kids, not wanting to let go. Good thing it seems like they don't want to either.

It takes someone clearing their throat to get him to look up. He looks over at the door and sees Kendall just standing there. He doesn't look mad or even remotely upset. He looks…happy; happier than any of them have seen him in a while. James bites down on his lip another time and stares at him, their eyes meeting. So much emotions flows through that gaze. Kendall moves forward until he's standing in front of the group on the ground. James expects him to say something scathing or irritated. But instead, he kneels down and hugs them all. James smiles faintly and holds the embrace again. He can feel Kendall's arms on his back and he feels safe. Like his family is whole again.

They finally pull away from the hug and tell the children to return to their activities. Kendall tells their lawyers to hold on for a minute. They walk down the hall and stop by the secretary's desk. The blond man looks at him, his emerald eyes gleaming. He apologizes, saying that he's been thinking. He says he needs James and can't do this. They can work it out.

The taller boy hears every word, drinking them in. This is what he wants. He needs Kendall like air. It's like whenever they fight he can't breathe. He needs his life with him, to love him and hold him and always be there. They can't ever be over because he doesn't know if he'll survive. But James doesn't think this, he says it. Kendall is nodding the whole way through before wrapping his arms around James. They hug for the longest time, longer than James with the kids.

After pulling away from the embrace, Kendall kisses James lightly and lovingly on the lips. They aren't over, nothing will break them. They are soul mates and meant to be together. They need each other to be complete. They are best friends- best friends.

They kiss again and James feels the chills again. They climb up his back and but he doesn't feel cold. He feels warm and that's all he cares about.


End file.
